Forgiveness and Moving On

Blogger Anonymous wrote the following post and is looking for your thoughts on the topic of forgiveness and moving on:

“Recently I’ve been dealing with some serious health issues – the kind that keeps me in a difficult position of worry. Ironically, with all of this going on, when I went to counseling last week, I wept about the childhood sexual abuse and how no one protected me from it.

How is that at 41, I am still hurt and processing something that happened when I was five-years old??!! And it’s not about the perpetrator, who was also a child; it’s about God and my parents not protecting me! I know we are supposed to forgive, but I am still angry.

Can you share your journey with forgiveness and healing? I need all the insight I can get and I really want to forgive and move on.”

-From Anon

Please share your thoughts and your journey in our comments section!

The clips below offer a few different thoughts on the topic of forgiveness.

Please note that WINGS believes that forgiveness looks like different things for every person. While forgiveness is a part of healing for some survivors, it is not a part of the healing process for all.

1. From The Interpreter – starts at 1:20

2. Oprah’s “AH” Moment – starts at 0:40

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One thought on “Forgiveness and Moving On

  1. My heart goes out to you as you struggle with forgiveness and moving on…how to accomplish that, or whether to forgive at all.

    I’m in my forties now too, and for me, forgiveness has been a slow, ongoing process. For a long time I couldn’t even accept the possibility of forgiveness with regard to my abuse. “Why should I forgive the unforgivable?” I thought that forgiving my abusers was the same as saying that my abuse didn’t matter. I thought that forgiving them meant letting them off the hook for what they’d done, or letting them ‘win’ in some way, and they certainly didn’t deserve any sort of kindness from me. I also came to realize that I couldn’t forgive anybody anything without working through it first.

    In the last 5-10 years, I have been able to define forgiveness on my own terms. The old roots of the word ‘forgive’ mean to “completely give”, so I decided that even if I couldn’t take away what happened to me in the past, I could symbolically give all of the abuse and responsibility…everything…back to my perpetrators.

    My abuse came from them and it belongs only to them. I’m the one who’s had to move/work through those experiences in order to move on in my life, so I get to decide where they belong once I’m done. I have a place to put them now.

    My perpetrators will never hear me say the words “I forgive you”, but I can still completely give back all of the things they did which caused me suffering and pain. I choose to leave that pain with the perpetrator, because they’re the ones who deserve it, not me.

    I wish you the very best as you work through your abuse and come to your own understanding of forgiveness. Take good care!

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